I have had a very difficult time being of good cheer this week. My wonderful husband is in the hospital and we have had many ups and downs. I have felt that the ups are simply tiny mole hills that don't even manage to get my head out of the seemingly endless canyons of the downs. Many, many prayers have been uttered the last month, by me and on my behalf. I am very grateful for all of the love and support we have received.
I think one of the hardest tests for me is when I believe I have made the choice the Lord wanted to me make and yet nothing seems to go right. I suddenly find myself struggling with the choice I made, the feelings I felt, and my faith in general. I forget that the Lord's way is not my way.
But I usually end up having an "Ohhhhh, I see" kind of moment. These happen when that last puzzle piece falls into place and I can suddenly see the reason things happened the way they did. I am apparently a really slow learner because I seem to have to retake this particular lesson over and over.
I found a wonderful talk given during the April 1987, LDS General Conference, by Neal A. Maxwell, entitled "Overcome...Even as I Also Overcame." One part in particularly caught my attention, and touched my battered heart.
"As part of His infinite atonement, Jesus knows “according to the flesh” all that through which we pass (Alma 7:11–12). He has borne the sins, griefs, sorrows, and, declared Jacob, the pains of every man, woman, and child (see 2 Ne. 9:21). Having been perfected in His empathy, Jesus thus knows how to succor us. We can, therefore, actually do as Peter urged and cast our cares upon the Lord (see 1 Pet. 5:7); He is familiar with them, including even the feeling of being forsaken (see Mark 14:50, Mark 15:34). Nothing is beyond His redeeming reach or His encircling empathy. Therefore, we should not complain about our own life’s not being a rose garden when we remember who wore the crown of thorns!"
Isn't that beautiful! I know that the Lord does succor me, especially when I am down and feeling so very alone, and frustrated. For this and so many other things I am indeed grateful. For this I will work harder on being of good cheer.